Down In It

Going around being like everyone else,
Enjoying the pleasant day
Taking cover from the rain.
Do my chores, pay my bills, be a person.

The look on your face is calming.
Another person to share this place with.

And now I’m pushy, because I want to know you
I want to feel what you’re feeling and know that it’s real
And I talk too much so that you can see things the way I do
And I ignore your personal space because I have none of my own

and I ask too many questions, because I don’t know enough about you
I want to lighten you up so you’ll sing
Like the way the sunset creeps into the morning and queues the bird songs

But I can see by the look on your face I’m in your personal space
And you can’t tell what I want from you.

I just want to share my energy, my enthusiasm
Then you’d understand — and you’d see that the world is just colors and music
While the sky is falling, you’d be immune
And nothing could get in your way
The body no longer a limitation
The Earth is beneath us and we can fly
We can slip away from the ground and go higher
Until the earth is a distant hypothetical, and everything is light and mist.
But I’m up here alone, and you’re a tiny spec of dust.
But once again I’ve fallen for the terrible lie
That up here I can glide forever.
But it’s a lie

And as I begin to fall I pretend to be a well-oiled machine made of metal and wire
Who can dominate the folds of the sky
I try to remember what we’re supposed to do in a downward spiral
But I’m still falling

And now I’m back on the ground.
But ground is liquid and I’m expected to stand tall
But all I can do is sink
No matter how hard I grasp or swim I sink
So I ask you to keep singing
So I can remember that feeling of flying
So I can try to ride on it above the surface

But I can’t hear you anymore
The surface is dark and blurry
And now the songs are coming from below
So I pretend the abyss is a comforting blanket
knowing I can’t get burned by the sun

I keep slipping away from where I thought I’d always be
and I’m tired — so tired of fighting the weight of the ocean above me
And so I accept where I’m supposed to be. Where I’m going

Fuck the fucking look on your face I can’t even remember
You’re just a spec above me

I’m here in the underground
where we all end up
I’m just ahead of schedule
Waiting for familiar company

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